We All Love Sardar Jokes.

We All Love Sardar Jokes. But Do You Know That Sikhs Are One Of The Hardest Working, Prosperous And Diversified Communities In The World!
My Friend Told Me About The Following Incident Which I Wish To Share With You. It Has Had A Deep Impact On My Thinking...

During The Last Vacation, A Few Friends Came To Delhi . They Rented A Taxi For Local Sight-Seeing. The Driver Was An Old Sardar And Boys Being Boys, These Pals Began Cracking Sardarji Jokes, Just To Tease The Old Man. But To Their Surprise, The Fellow Remained Unperturbed..

At The End Of The Sight-Seeing, They Paid The Cab Hire Charges. The Sardar Returned The Change, But He Gave Each One Of Them One Rupee Extra And Said,''Sons, Since Morning You Have Been Telling Sardarji Jokes. I Listened To Them All And Let Me Tell You, Some Of Them Were In Bad Taste. Still, I Don't Mind Coz I Know That You Are Young Blood And Are Yet To See The World. But I Have One Request. I Am Giving You One Rupee Each. Give It To The First Sardar Beggar That You Come Across In This Or Any Other City !!!"

 

My Friend Continued, "That One Rupee Coin Is Still With Me. I Couldn't Find A Single Sardar Begging Anywhere."

MORAL:
The Secret Behind Their Universal Success Is Their Willingness To Do Any Job With Utmost Dedication And Pride. A Sardar Will Drive A Truck Or Set Up A Roadside Garage Or A Dhaba, Run A Fruit Juice Stall, Take Up Small Time Carpentry, ... But He Will Never Beg On The Streets


Because Sikhs Contribute:

* 33% Of Total Income Tax
* 67% Of Total Charities
* 45% Of Indian Army

* 59,000++ Gurudwaras Serve LANGAR To 5,900,000+ People Everyday!
& All This When THEY Make Only 1.4% Of The Total INDIAN POPULATION...

The fact about Gandhi's sex life

Pleasure of the faithful: The fact about Gandhi's sex life 

With spiritual chastity under inspection, a fresh book rugs shine on Gandhi's drill of sleeping next to undressed teenagers. In fact, he was sex-mad, writes biographer Jad Adams.

It was no secret that Mohandas Gandhi had an uncommon sex life. He spoke frequently of sex and gave comprehensive, often provocative, guidelines to his followers as to how to they might best perceive chastity. And his understandings were not always popular; "abnormal and unnatural" was how the first Prime Minister of independent India, Jawaharlal Nehru, described Gandhi's advice to newlyweds to stay celibate for the sake of their souls.
But was there something more complex than a pious plea for chastity at play in Gandhi's beliefs, preaching’s and even his unusual personal practices (which included, alongside his famed chastity, sleeping naked next to nubile, naked women to test his restraint)? In the course of researching my new book on Gandhi, going through a hundred volumes of his complete works and many tomes of eye-witness material, details became apparent which add up to a more bizarre sexual history.
Much of this material was known during his lifetime, but was distorted or suppressed after his death during the process of elevating Gandhi into the "Father of the Nation" Was the Mahatma, in fact, as the pre-independence prime minister of the Indian state of Travancore called him, "a most dangerous, semi-repressed sex maniac"?
Gandhi was born in the Indian state of Gujarat and married at 13 in 1883; his wife Kasturba was 14, not early by the standards of Gujarat at that time. The young couple had a normal sex life, sharing a bed in a separate room in his family home, and Kasturba was soon pregnant.

Two years later, as his father lay dying; Gandhi left his bedside to have sex with Kasturba. Meanwhile, his father drew his last breath. The young man compounded his grief with guilt that he had not been present, and represented his subsequent revulsion towards "lustful love" as being related to his father's death.
However, Gandhi and Kasturba's last child wasn't born until fifteen years later, in 1900.
In fact, Gandhi did not develop his censorious attitude to sex (and certainly not to marital sex) until he was in his 30s, while a volunteer in the ambulance corps, assisting the British Empire in its wars in Southern Africa. On long marches in sparsely populated land in the Boer War and the Zulu uprisings, Gandhi considered how he could best "give service" to humanity and decided it must be by embracing poverty and chastity.
At the age of 38, in 1906, he took a vow of  BRAHMACHARYA, which meant living a spiritual life but is normally referred to as chastity, without which such a life is deemed impossible by Hindus.
Gandhi found it easy to embrace poverty. It was chastity that eluded him. So he worked out a series of complex rules which meant he could say he was chaste while still engaging in the most explicit sexual conversation, letters and behavior.
With the zeal of the convert, within a year of his vow, he told readers of his newspaper Indian Opinion: "It is the duty of every thoughtful Indian not to marry. In case he is helpless in regard to marriage, he should abstain from sexual intercourse with his wife."
Meanwhile, Gandhi was challenging that abstinence in his own way. He set up ashrams in which he began his first "experiments" with sex; boys and girls were to bathe and sleep together, chastely, but were punished for any sexual talk. Men and women were segregated, and Gandhi's advice was that husbands should not be alone with their wives, and, when they felt passion, should take a cold bath.
The rules did not, however, apply to him. Sushila Nayar, the attractive sister of Gandhi's secretary, also his personal physician, attended Gandhi from girlhood. She used to sleep and bathe with Gandhi. When challenged, he explained how he ensured decency was not offended. "While she is bathing I keep my eyes tightly shut," he said, "I do not know ... whether she bathes naked or with her underwear on. I can tell from the sound that she uses soap." The provision of such personal services to Gandhi was a much sought-after sign of his favour and aroused jealousy among the ashram inmates.
As he grew older (and following Kasturba's death) he was to have more women around him and would oblige women to sleep with him whom – according to his segregated ashram rules – were forbidden to sleep with their own husbands. Gandhi would have women in his bed, engaging in his "experiments" which seem to have been, from a reading of his letters, an exercise in strip-tease or other non-contact sexual activity. Much explicit material has been destroyed but tantalising remarks in Gandhi's letters remain such as: "Vina's sleeping with me might be called an accident. All that can be said is that she slept close to me." One might assume, then, that getting into the spirit of the Gandhian experiment meant something more than just sleeping close to him.
It can't, one imagines, can have helped with the "involuntary discharges" which Gandhi complained of experiencing more frequently since his return to India. He had an almost magical belief in the power of semen: "One who conserves his vital fluid acquires unfailing power," he said.
Meanwhile, it seemed that challenging times required greater efforts of spiritual fortitude, and for that, more attractive women were required: Sushila, who in 1947 was 33, was now due to be supplanted in the bed of the 77-year-old Gandhi by a woman almost half her age. While in Bengal to see what comfort he could offer in times of inter-communal violence in the run-up to independence, Gandhi called for his 18-year-old grandniece Manu to join him – and sleep with him. "We both may be killed by the Muslims," he told her, "and must put our purity to the ultimate test, so that we know that we are offering the purest of sacrifices, and we should now both start sleeping naked."
Such behaviour was no part of the accepted practice of bramacharya. He, by now, described his reinvented concept of a brahmachari as: "One who never has any lustful intention, who, by constant attendance upon God, has become proof against conscious or unconscious emissions, who is capable of lying naked with naked women, however beautiful, without being in any manner whatsoever sexually excited ... who is making daily and steady progress towards God and whose every act is done in pursuance of that end and no other." That is, he could do whatever he wished, so long as there was no apparent "lustful intention". He had effectively redefined the concept of chastity to fit his personal practices.
Thus far, his reasoning was spiritual, but in the maelstrom that was India approaching independence he took it upon himself to see his sex experiments as having national importance: "I hold that true service of the country demands this observance," he stated.
But while he was becoming bolder in his self-righteousness, Gandhi's behavior was widely discussed and criticised by family members and leading politicians. Some members of his staff resigned, including two editors of his newspaper who left after refusing to print parts of Gandhi's sermons dealing with his sleeping arrangements.
But Gandhi found a way of regarding the objections as a further reason tocontinue. "If I don't let Manu sleep with me, though I regard it as essential that she should," he announced, "wouldn't that be a sign of weakness in me?"
Eighteen-year-old Abha, the wife of Gandhi's grandnephew Kanu Gandhi, rejoined Gandhi's entourage in the run-up to independence in 1947 and by the end of August he was sleeping with both Manu and Abha at the same time.
When he was assassinated in January 1948, it was with Manu and Abha by his side. Despite her having been his constant companion in his last years, family members, tellingly, removed Manu from the scene. Gandhi had written to his son: "I have asked her to write about her sharing the bed with me," but the protectors of his image were eager to eliminate this element of the great leader's life. Devdas, Gandhi's son, accompanied Manu to Delhi station where he took the opportunity of instructing her to keep quiet.
Questioned in the 1970s, Sushila revealingly placed the elevation of this lifestyle to a brahmacharya experiment was a response to criticism of this behavior. "Later on, when people started asking questions about his physical contact with women – with Manu, with Abha, with me – the idea of brahmacharya experiments was developed ... in the early days, there was no question of calling this a brahmacharya experiment." It seems that Gandhi lived as he wished, and only when challenged did he turn his own preferences into a cosmic system of rewards and benefits. Like many great men, Gandhi made up the rules as he went along.
While it was commonly discussed as damaging his reputation when he was alive, Gandhi's sexual behavior was ignored for a long time after his death. It is only now that we can piece together information for a rounded picture of Gandhi's excessive self-belief in the power of his own sexuality. Tragically for him, he was already being sidelined by the politicians at the time of independence. The preservation of his vital fluid did not keep India intact, and it was the power-brokers of the Congress Party who negotiated the terms of India's freedom.

A Gujarati village that puts metros to shame

                       A Gujarati village that puts metros to shame!

AHMEDABAD: Think of an Indian village and what comes to mind are images of mooing cows, open drains and children playing ants and frog games. But, Punsari, a motley village in Himmatnagar, talks about wi-fi and optical fiber broadband network, its children spend best of their times in air-conditioned classrooms with CCTV cameras. The village also boasts of its own mini-bus transport system and there are 25-odd CCTVs located on important junctions to spot litterbugs.

If you think this village is drenched in NRI funds, think again. Not a single rupee has come from across the seven seas, instead the village managed its funds over the last five years that it received from central and state sponsored developmental schemes.

"The village panchayat pays an annual premium of Rs 25 lakh against insurance for each of the 6,000 villagers who have a cover of Rs 1 lakh and a mediclaim policy of Rs 25,000. Our schools have zero dropout rates, CCTV cameras in classrooms help us keep watch on teachers in classrooms. Our reverse osmosis plant supplies 20-litre cans to houses for a token cost of Rs 4. These are bare essentials for a standard life today and why should our village be behind," claims the village sarpanch Hemant Patel, 29.

The village panchayat had a capital of Rs 25,000 five years ago. Today, the deposits have soared to Rs 75 lakh. "The turn-around happened when we sold part of our grazing land as plotted schemes to various communities. The money is deposited in government coffers," says Patel. The village received rewards from the central government and the state governments recently.

District development officer Ravi Arora told TOI, "There is not a single family in Punsari which has an NRI family member. The village has just managed its accounts well and villagers here agreed on a co-operative approach to development."

Source : TOI :

Assam innovator

Assam innovator "Uddhab Bharali" has been shortlisted for the prestigious NASA Technology Award:

Assam innovator "Uddhab Bharali" has been shortlisted for the prestigious NASA Technology Award:

The US-based National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has shortlisted Assamese innovator Uddhab Bharali for its prestigious NASA Technology Award.

Bharali has also been nominated for the World Technology Award 2012 given by World Technology Network.

Based in North Lakhimpur town in north-eastern Assam, Bharali has 39 universal patents to his name. But the 45-year-old innovator is best known for his mini pomegranate de-seeder.

"I am among the 26 innovators from across the globe to have qualified for the NASA award," Bharali said from his hometown.
"I have qualified for developing the mini pomegranate de-seeder, which has become very popular in the United States."

The machine, exported to the US and Turkey, separates the outer cover and thin inner membrane of a pomegranate without damaging the seeds. It has a capacity of de-seeding 50-55 kg of pomegranates per hour.

Bharali said NASA briefed him about the system involved in deciding the winners.

"Out of the 26 who have qualified, 10 would be given the award through online voting. Getting requisite votes is secondary; qualifying for the award is recognition as an international innovator," he added.

The nomination for the World Technology Award, on the other hand, is for the mini CTC tea plant that Bharali had designed.

Small enough to be set up in a 14ft by 20ft space, his tea plant follows all established procedures of massive tea producing machines and can produce up to 100kg of tea per day with a power intake of only 2KW.

Bharali began innovating in 1988, and his first device was a polythene filmmaking unit. He has since innovated 98 engineering devices.

Things NOT to Do in Mumbai.

1.        Get into a Virar train if you are going to Borivali

2.     Avoid Taxis outside Dadar & Kurla stations all are chors.

3.     Eat Bhel at Kailash Parbat

4.     Call a cop ‘Pandu’

5.     Argue with a Koli Fisherwoman

6.     Get a 11 Rupee massage at Girgaum Chowpatty

7.     Call a BEST bus driver ‘Bablia’

8.     Buy enhancement medicines from Van – Travelling Hakims who are the desi versions of the flying doctors

9.     Look smart while visiting Chor Bazaar

10.  Avoid asking the Sandwich wallah on Dalal Street for market tips

11.  Stand in front of Amitabh/shahrukh/salmaan’s house — u look stupid and its waste of time

12.  Baba Bengalis are neither Baba’s or Bengalis they are all perverts and thugs

13.  Visit sleazy Video Parlours and get caught in a raid

14.  Get excited and start jumping when someone offers you Paanch ka Dollar, it’s just a tiny 5 Rupee coin

15.  Go for a Shiv Sena rally in hope for a Free Vada Pav and Shiv Sena Banian

16.  Stare at Koli Women in Gorai and Make fun of Kolis in their Kasti

17.  While commuting don’t tease people shitting near the tracks, they throw stones back at the train

18.  Hang outside the train, Poles might hit you before the crowds will.

19.  Tease a Hijra.

20.  Bribe a Porter to grab a seat in V.T, chances are he might run off with your money and even beat you.

21.  Get conned at Fountain from Guys selling cheap Mobiles, they mesmerize and wrap soap bars.

22.  Avoid pimps behinds Mondegar & Pasta Lanes.

23.  Donate money to the Crying Cab driver, he has conned thousands.

24.  Invite Brass Polishwalas into your house

25.  Sit for more than 20 mins extra at an Irani Café, the Bawa owner might shout some sister abuses.

26.  Drink Neera at 5 pm at Dadar Station

27.  Have lassi outside Dadar Station (west), they add Tissue Paper while preparing it

28.  Throw stones at monkeys in Borivali National Park

29.  Loiter around in Shivaji Park on Dec 6th.

30.  Ask for a bargain at the Maharastrian Cloth store in Dadar.

31.  Call up 26407383 Beanbags thinking it’s an escort service.

32.  Call a Maharastrian guy Bhaiya, no matter how respectful you mean.

33.  Go to Mondegar and ask for a Jain Pav Bhaji

34.  Look straight and walk, We have open Manholes, flicked by Druggies.

35.  Wear Brown Khakis shirts, People will mistake you for BMC staff.

36.  Ask for Warranty & Guarantee from the Mallu Electronic stalls in Fountain area.

37.  Search for the Kala Ghoda in Kala Ghoda.

38.  Ask why statues in Bombay have one finger pointed like Umpires.

39.  Apply Rai ka Tel on your head and travel by public transport.

40.  Go to Chor Bazaar in your Car or Bike.

41.  Wear nice footwear to SiddiVinayak or Mahalakshmi Temple

42.  Go to Haji Ali during high tides

43.  Go to work when a Shiv Sena bandh is on.

44.  Dial 100 for fun, Cops will put your entire family behind bars and use bars.

45.  Buy water & tea for Chai-Pani, Old Monk should work.

46.  Fall asleep on the Harbour Line, Thieves will strip you of everything.

47.  Eat Missal / Ussal Pav before going to work.

48.  Board a fast train in Dadar to go to Bandra. Opposite platforms and a very horrible crowd

49.  Go for midnight mass thinking you can patao chicks

50.  give money to bhikari (he is the same guy who is @siddhivinayak on Tuesday, @mahim church wed, @mahim dargah on Thursday, and @hajiali on Friday, @mount mary on Sunday)

51.  Go to an Orchestra Bar, its nothing but the local banjo party guys in better clothes

52.  Talk to a Gujju for more than 10 mins, he will start playing garba with you

53.  Go to Versova beach, its full of shit and methi plants

54.  Join any friendship club, its like inviting blackmailers.

55.  Go to Bhagwathi hospital in Borivali

56.  Pronounce Sandhurst correctly, Sandas Rd makes more sense.

57.  Ask where is the Chinch in Chinchpokli or Chincholi

58.  Trouble naughty couples in the A/c Buses

59.  Go for morning show in sidey theatre expecting sleazy action, you might encounter  khudkushi action around you.

60.  Travel from Andheri to Ghatkopar by Bus, the bus is full of pickpockets.

61.  Travel ticketless  on Friday, If you are caught Anadi court is a big torture.

62.  Wear a Red tie or red handkerchief and stand near Gateway or Radio Club, its a gigolo symbol

63.  Give 100 bucks to a conductor and expect him to give you change, he will sadistically torment you till the last stop.

64.  Buy cheap booze in Churchgate Subway and get caught by cops for not having permits

65.  Buy Crackers from Essabhai, Crawford Market and travel in train

66.  Go to National park with your GF/Wife and take the jungle route Robbers & Adivasis might loot you.

67.  Ask for free Chakna in bars, its history since Aug 2, 2008

68.  Go to Voodoo’s on Saturday, its the only Gay bar between Istanbul and Bangkok

69.  Go to Navy Nagar and think you can buy booze for cheap.

70.  Try to play all the instruments at Furtado’s in Dhobi Talao

71.  Stand close to the platform when the Rajdhani is passing, a sonic and nuclear blast of fart, shit and farsan will hit you.

72.  Ask for extra chutney and sambhar in Udupi hotels.

73.  Visit Ganga Jamuna in Tardeo thinking its a holy place.

74.  Assume that booksellers in Fountains are dumbo’s, they know their Pulitzers and Bookers more than us.

75.  Take the driving test, paying 300 bucks makes more sense.

76.  Do a court marriage in Bandra court.

77.  Count the numbers of floors of Oberoi towers just because Amitabh did.

78.  Bet against India in a game, Australia is the safest option.

79.  Get scared and not gamble in the McDowell Derby at Mahalaksmi Race Course.

80.  Note down prices or take Photos at Alfa in Irla

81.  Buy 100 bucks Windcheaters from Churchgate, they are all the ones recycled by the Bhandiwalis

82.  Search for Tigers in Borivali National Park, It’s the other way Tigers & Panthers will find you

83.  Search the roads & gutters of Chira Bazaar & Opera House hoping to find diamonds just because the newspapers claim so.

84.  argue with someone on Monday, they are going to office might be they unnecessary hit you

85  All the things mentioned are NOT to be DONE in Mumbai